Boundaries for Great Date exercises
If possible please fill in the answers before the date without prior discussion
When you are finally able to have a quiet meal together go over your answers using the communication exercises we have been discussing. Turn off all cell phones, agree not to do a review of what is happening at home or at the office, focus only your relationship and on the future. Do not bring up past conflicts or issues which are negative .
Remember the four things that will destroy intimacy are: defensiveness, criticism, contempt and stonewalling. This means avoiding judgments or blame.
The exercises are an opportunity to implement improved communication skills as well as enhancing intimacy.We are working toward a daily dialogue that includes daily compliments as well as emotional content rather than a re-hash of the days events
- Be Assertive
- Remember to start your sentences with “I”
- Use feelings words
- Try to stick to three bullet points so you do not flood your partner
- Describe don’t compare
- Be specific, with concrete suggestions, Less “I want more romance” to I would feel loved if you called me once or twice during the day just to say Hi”
- Stick to the positives
- Have Fun!