Bradley van Hoek

Palm Beach Counseling & Coaching

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561.281.1693
205 Worth Avenue, Suite 307C, Palm Beach, FL 33480
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Date Night Instructions

Boundaries for Great Date exercises

If possible please fill in the answers before  the date without prior discussion

When you are finally able to have a quiet meal together go over your answers using the communication exercises we have been discussing. Turn off all cell phones, agree not to do a review of what is happening at home or at the office, focus only your relationship and on the future. Do not bring up past conflicts or issues which are negative .

Remember the four things that will destroy intimacy are: defensiveness, criticism, contempt and stonewalling. This means avoiding judgments or blame.

The exercises are an opportunity to implement improved communication skills as well as enhancing intimacy.We are working toward a daily dialogue that includes daily compliments as well as emotional content rather than a re-hash of the days events

  • Be Assertive
  • Remember to start your sentences with “I”
  • Use feelings words
  • Try to stick to three bullet points so you do not flood your partner
  • Describe don’t compare
  • Be specific, with concrete suggestions, Less “I want more romance” to I would feel loved if you called me once or twice during the day just to say Hi”
  • Stick to the positives
  • Have Fun!

 

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Bradley van Hoek, Therapist 205 Worth Avenue, Suite 307C, Palm Beach, FL 33480

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